I have a confession. That I have had for a while a put my emotions in a box. These boxes let no voice escape. No light enter or leave. They are my black hole so to say.
Today when I sit and write this, I realize the harm I have done to myself and the people around me using this primitive technique to deal with emotions that were too big for me to express, or too hard for me to accept and cry for.
All I wanted was peace, so I chose ( thinking it to be the right thing to do for myself) to put things in this amazing box and throw it over the port side. Hoping it would vanish into the abyss of the sea of time.
Now I stand at the edge, and see I have put too many boxes . They never sank or left my side. They are still there .
They float and cover the surface parting me from the others I wish to be close to.
The only way to reach them would be to start opening these boxes and letting each and everyone of them to consume my strength and then move on to the next.
As I do so , my beard turns white, my heart attains scars, my wisdom runs deep to the root of my being.
Ive opened them all now. I am a old man. I am ugly. I am scared. I am not weak. I am strong. I am learned. I am experienced. I am free.
I sail with the excitement of a 18 year old, I laugh with the carelessness of a 9 year old.
I am truly myself now.
If you see me now , you will see me.